I didn’t really know who Lukas Podolski was until some late night social media-ing. I now wish I would have paid more attention to the Polish-born forward because Lukas Podolski is an Instagram star.
I’ve probably watched him play dozens of times for Germany and Arsenal, although I didn’t really know who he was beyond hearing his name. To me, Podolski is another anonymous part of the Mannschaft, the intimidating nickname of the German national team. It just means “team”, but since it’s German, it hints at ruthless precision and metallurgy. You can probably replace him with another perfectly engineered possession-chewing fußballer, and the assembly line would still run.
Poldi is a delight on IG. He posts adorable selfies with his teammates, Portuguese love letters to Brazil (after the beat down, natch), and calls throwing a rugby ball like a quarterback “Training American style !”. Not to mention a selfie with Angela Merkel. (I’m sure they discussed central bank policy.) You win, Lukas, you win.
The most disturbing trend is what I’ve labeled “Hiked Up Shorts”, wherein he and his teammates pose together with their shorts pulled up so as to look to like tighty-whities (the shorts are black). Hilarious because they’re German and don’t have the American shame about letting it all hang out. Smart because it’s hot as hell in Brazil. Uncomfortable because it’s grown men hiking up their shorts to their crotches with their arms around each other.
His favorite pose is by far the “thumbs up.” He’s usually with a teammate or two, or with Ronaldinho, and he gives a big grin with a fist curled and the first digit pointing straight in the air for all the world to see. When I noticed this trend, I knew I had to break it down.
I’ve categorized all of his Instagrams since Germany commenced national team training on May 21, landed in Brazil for the World Cup on June 8, and up through July 12 at 9:30 central time, 30 hours before the final on July 13. By my count, he’s posted 99 photos. Seventeen have a thumbs up, 7 have a peace sign, and 6 are fists. There’s also some pointing involved, but I didn’t notice that before it was too late.
Lukas Podolski’s feed will definitely be a must see if the Mannschaft take out Argentina. There’ll be so many joyous selfies, hopefully with his shorts worn correctly.
Prediction: Germany 3 – Argentina 1
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